Stroller Dog Twinkie Cake.

So I went walking the other day. Ok, I didn't but it did sound pretty good. I mean wouldn't it be awesome to just walk up to someone and start off your conversation that way?

"So I went walkin the other day."

"Really? Where all did you go?"

"I think I need to get my tires rotated on my car."

"Thought you were walking?"

"Why is there no mayo in the fridge?"

"What?"

"Exactly."

I happened to spot something that I could barely see. When I got closer I realized that what I thought I saw I didn't really see because the thing I saw was definitely not what I thought I saw. It was in fact nothing of any importance at all. Which just blew my mind considering what I thought I saw was something that I honestly had hoped I'd seen. In the long end my coffee was just getting colder and no one really likes coffee if it's really cold unless it has ice in it. I guess it's not really coffee if you purposely put a lot of ice in it. At that point I'd have to say it's one of those iced coffee crapuccino things. Even then is it really coffee or some kind of cappuccino creation that is supposed to taste more like overly sugared dirt?

Ever seen those baby strollers that have nothing in them except dogs? Really? Shouldn't the dog be hooked up to the front and pulling your ass around? I guess if the dog has a thyroid problem or is just fat because there's an unlimited supply of twinkies laying around it's ok. It's not their fault, it's in their genes. I could go on an on about things in people's genes... After all, that's where we all come from whether your talking about genes or jeans. Neat, they sound a lot a like. I know a few jeans I wouldn't mind getting in to. Well, when they wear jeans.. usually skirts. Which is a whole different post all together. Especially since you don't really get into them... Anywho.. back to the matter at hand.

Where'd all these same size jeans with different actual measurements come from? Pretty sure that 40 x 34 is a basic size. Since when does 40 actually mean 44? Since when did guys get so paranoid about feeling better about themselves that we have to lie about our pant sizes? Which person actually thought this through? "Let's put 40 on the tag but add 4 inches so this guy doesn't realize he's actually that big around." Isn't it enough that most of us lie about how big our feet are? HA! You thought I was going to say penis. You dirty little creature. Get your mind in the gutter more often and perhaps I'll go that route.

Speaking about routes. Everyone has their normal route that comes and goes. This month you take the bus, next month you drive, the following you just walk and so on. But have you ever surfed into a calming breeze with a giant wave coming over your head? You have? Ok.. stop reading now. Actually, start reading from the beginning and when you get to this point start over again. Please repeat the process until you fully desire to not read it over again and then just close this window.

Now that those people are gone.

Have you ever seen a beaver that wasn't furry? You know the kind, the kind that has no hair... a hairless beaver. No, you probably haven't. They're almost extinct. I shit you not. Look at that and tell me I'm lying. Kinda sad, everyone loves the hairless beavers. They build dams and eat stuff and reproduce.... huh?

Onward ho...

What is it that has the power to descend and destroy everything on this rotating pile of tension? Why is it that everything has tension? If everything just went into it's place would the tension be so extreme? If the tension wasn't so extreme would everything be over so quickly? What the hell am I talking about?

Lands of gold and honey. They're few and far between these days. Then again, why would you only want gold and honey? You can only eat honey with certain things. Even though honey is one of the only products, besides twinkies, that can sit in your cupboard for 30 years and still be good. Back to the twinkies again. Where are those damn stroller dogs? I think I spot them going across the street. Look out for that truck!!

Oh wait, I already established that what I thought I saw wasn't what I saw but could have been close to what I saw had i actually been close enough to see it.

Oh, go twinkie your hoo hoo ya ding dong.